Talented Hosts
by HinataAisha
Summary: So, it's time for the parents to visit again. And instead of a relay race for the Central Salon, Ouran chose a different competition for the honor...
1. Tamaki, Hikaru, Kaoru, and Hanni's turn

Disclaimer: I don't own Host Club, that's Bisco Hatori, nor do I own VeggieTales. I don't know who does, but I know it's not me. Don't kill me!  
So, yeah…. Here goes

Ch 1

Hikaru and Kaoru slumped in unison on the small couch in the third music room, their eyes narrowing in boredom. "We're bored"

Haruhi didn't even look up from the homework that she'd been working on. "Find something to do then. Everyone else found something." This wasn't quite a lie; the other four club members were indeed doing something, but with a lack of enthusiasm that made it clear that they were just as bored as the twins.

"Ohhohohoo!!" Renge spiraled up out of the floor on her usual pedestal, laughing annoyingly loud. "I have something you can do!!!" She showered a pile of leaflets over the hosts, watching with glee as they picked them up.

"This could be fun…." A set of identical grins graced the Hitachiins lips as they looked over a flyer.

"It could be useful I suppose…"

Renge laughed again at Kyouya's comment, "We'll start now then"

In the back room of the theatre, Renge was finishing touching up each of the hosts costumes and make up, "Now, don't forget your lines and lyrics and the order that you go on!!"

Kyouya scratched a few more notes into his notebook before snapping it closed, glancing around at the other six members, "I trust I don't need to remind you that we have to win this talent show." The gleam in his charcoal eyes was quite enough for the others. They each looked away, suddenly very interested in the walls and decorations around their room.

The 'talent show' was a school wide contest to claim the Central Salon for the school festival. The year before it had been a race around the school, full of physical strength and brain power. This time however, it would be decided by a talent show. Each group could do anything from one to five acts and the judges would decide who won at the end.

"Okay!" Renge, who was oblivious to the calculating gleam in Kyouya's eye, jumped up, "It's Tamaki, Hikaru, Kaoru, and Hanni up first!! Ganbate!! 3"

(Ganbatte do your best/ good luck)

The four of them stood, each in the garb of the sea-fairing pirates. Tamaki had an eye patch over his right eye, and was beaming. Hanni, who was also smiling his sweet little grin, wore a huge pirate hat as his signature item, with an obnoxious white feather sticking out the back of it. Hikaru and Kaoru wore identical red bandannas around their heads and fox like grins on their lips.

As they walked on stage, a roar of excitement and pleasure greeted them. It was always like that with their customers.

The four sat down in the three chairs that were positioned in a semi-circle on the set. The twins, of course, sat together in a huge dark blue bean bag while Tamaki took the recliner and Hanni sat in the oversized cushy chair.

"Here is Tamaki Suoh , Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin, and Mitsukuni Haninozuka performing "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!" The announcers voice was nearly drowned by the wave of screaming girls in the crowd.

The four hosts either grinned or smiled--according to their personalities--as the music started.

All four voices rose together as they sang in unison, _"We are the pirates who don't do anything! We just stay at home and lie around! And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you…"_

Tamaki smiled and flipped his footrest out, leaning back and shooting a grin at the crowd as he sang, _"We don't do anything!"_

The girls screamed, their faces wearing identical smiles of admiration.

Hanni gave his own smile and sat up to sing out his own part, _"Well, I've never been to Greenland and I've never been to Denver, and I've never buried treasure in St. Louis or St. Paul, and I've never been to Moscow and I've never been to Tampa, and I've never been to Boston in the fall!"_ He gave a short giggle, which only set the girls off into another fit of screaming.

_"Cuz we're the pirates who don't do anything! We just stay at home and lie around… And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you…"_

Hikaru and Kaoru looked out at the crowd, smirking through their lines, _"We don't do anything!"_ The duo lounged back in their been bag during yet another rabid crowd scream, then continued,_ "And We've never hoist the mainstay and we've never swabbed the poop deck, and we've never veered to starboard cuz we never sail at all, and we've never walked the gang plank and we've never owned a parrot, and we've never been to Boston in the fall!"_

Through the next wave of screams the chorus could hardly be heard. Then it was Tamaki's turn to sing… and sing he did, _"Well I've never plucked a rooster and I'm not too good at ping-pong, and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall, and I've never kissed a chipmunk and I've never gotten head lice, and I've never been to Boston in the fall!"_

The screams were about half replaced with laughing as they listened to what the Host Club King was singing.

The Twins' eyes narrowed as they looked at him, speaking in unison, "Huh? What are you talking about? What's a rooster and mashed potatoes have to do with being a pirate?"

Hanni's sweet voice chimed in, "Hey, tha's right! We're supposed to sing about pirate-y things!!"

The crowed only laughed harder, some even holding their sides in mirth.

"Oh…" Tamaki looked down, dejected.  
Hanni continued, "And who ever kissed a chipmunk? That's just nonsense! Why even bring it up? Am I right?" His wide-eyed gaze turned to the audience then back to the twins, "What do you think?"

Their grins widened, "We think you look like Cap'n Crunch!!"

The laughter redoubled through the theatre, forcing the people running the sound on the music and microphones turn up the volume.

"Huh!?? No I don't!" Hanni's eyes welled up, causing laughter and a great amount of 'awww's.

"Do too"

"Do not!"

"You're making us hungry!"

Hanni sniffed then stood up in his chair, "That's it, you're walking the plank!"

Between the next surges of laughter, the twins sat up, "Says who?"

"Says the captain, that's who!!"

After the enormous squeal of glee from the girls, the twins leapt to their feet, "Oh, yeah? Aye aye, Cap'n Crunch!!" Laughing, they scampered off around their set with Hanni, who chasing after them with a plastic sword that was far too big for him.

Tamaki meanwhile was rocking in his chair and picked up the song again, _"And I've never licked a spark plug and I've never sniffed a stink bug, and I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball, and I've never bathed in yogurt and I don't look good in leggings…"_

The twins and Hanni looked over at their king, shaking their heads at his idiocy, "You just don't get it…"

Over half the auditorium was rolling on the floor in fits of laughter as all four voices rose again, _"And we've never been to Boston in the fallllllll!"_

Clapping and laughter filled the area long after they were off stage. It could even be heard in the back room where Kyouya and Haruhi waited for the twins to return and change.

Kyouya adjusted his glasses, which caught a faint glimmer of light, "Are you ready, Haruhi?"

End Ch 1


	2. Kyouya, Haruhi, Hikaru, Tamaki's turn

Disclaimer: I don't own Host Club, that's Bisco Hatori, nor do I own Lion King. That would be the Disney Company. They're NOT mine so don't kill me!  
So, yeah…. Here goes

Ch 2

Kyouya Outori's glasses glimmered faintly as he stepped onto the stage in the semi-darkness. He knew that they had to win the talent show, so he had no qualms about performing. Behind him Haruhi stood, along with Hikaru and Kaoru (who had just finished their quick-change from pirates into their current outfits). All three of them wore long black pants with a thin silver design swirling up and around their legs to the knee. On the top, the twins wore identical tight black tank tops and a golden armband on their arms; Hikaru's on his right arm, Kaoru's on his left. Haruhi, however had on a baggy black T-shirt to hide the fact that she was a girl. Instead of armbands she had on a golden choker.

"Let's welcome Kyouya Outori, Haruhi Fujioka, and Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin from the Host Club!"

The crowd, already hyped up from the last performance, let fly a deafening roar of approval. Their hands, numbed from clapping for Tamaki, Hanni, and the twins, were pressed together in yet another round on applause.

The music began as a low rumble and Kyouya, The Shadow King, could feel the faint blue light as it illuminated him from above. He let a small smile creep onto his lips as he adjusted his glasses to reflect that cool gleam. It was time to start…"I never thought hyenas essential… They're crude and unspeakably plain… but maybe they're a glimmer of potential if allied to my vision and brain…" The icy glow faded away, giving way to bursts of red and orange blasting around the stage, accompanied by yet another scream from the crowd.

Kyouya rounded on the other three as they came to stand beside him, _"I know that your powers of retention are as wet as a warthog's backside… but think as you are, pay attention! My words are a matter of pride." _He turned back to the audience, shadow of a smirk on his face, earning a third round of cheers, _"It's clear from your vacant expressions the lights are not all on upstairs… but we're talking kings and successions. Even YOU can't be caught unawares!" _On the 'you' he spun toward Haruhi, who scampered off after only a moment of hesitation. She would become an actress yet, even though she was so bland about everything else. His attention again on the audience, he continued, _"So prepare for a chance of a life time… be prepared for sensational news! A shining new era is tiptoeing nearer…"_

Hikaru and Kaoru's arms fell about his shoulders as they stepped in, _"And where do WE feature?" _

The shadow king brushed them away, _"Just listen to teacher… I know it sounds sordid, but you'll be rewarded, when at last I am given my dues! And injustice deliciously squared. Be prepared!"_

"Yeah, be prepared!" Haruhi stepped forward, one hand on her hip, "We'll be prepared! … For what?"

"For the death of the king."

"What, is he sick?" Again, the twins flanked Kyouya, their voices in perfect sync.

"No fools, we're going to kill him." Another smirk lifted Kyouya's lips, "And Simba too." There was another scream of joy from the crowd, especially from the Shadow King's customers.

"Great idea! Who needs a king?"

"No king! No king! La la la la lala!!" Haruhi's voice joined in with Hikaru's and Kaoru's perfect sync with no trouble whatsoever.

"Idiots! There will be a king!"

"Hey, but you said…"

"-I- will be king!"

Kyouya turned from the screaming crowd. The other three stepped forward to sing as he slid around to the sidewall, leaning on it nonchalantly while they finished their verse, _"Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected to take certain duties on board." _He eased himself into a lazy stand, strolling across the stage, _"The future is littered with prizes, and though I'm the main addressee… the point that I must emphasize is." _On the other side of the trio, he spun again, _"You wont get a sniff without me!"_

The next few lines were lost in the sheer volume of squeals, screams, yells, and applause that followed the last line.

_"Decades of denial is simply why I'll be king undisputed respected, saluted and seen for the wonder I am! Yes my teeth and ambitions are bared… Be prepared!!"_ At the last booming note the lights flashed out. Gales of laughter and applause from their customers, competition, and classmates alike followed them off the stage.

The four of them returned to their dressing room and Renge looked up from her job of touching up Hanni's outfit, "Hurry up and get changed. You need to run through your dance again."

Twin moans came from the doorway, even before Hikaru and Kaoru came in, "Do we have to? We just got done with two in a row"

"Besides" Kaoru's more feminine voice whined as the two flopped into their chairs, "The dance is the last thing in the show"

Fire blazed up in the otaku's (Otaku 'rabid fan girl' is the definition I'm going for. That is how Renge described in both the anime and manga anyway) eyes, casting waves of fear wherever they pointed, "Get… changed… now…" The dangerous tone in her voice forced the twins to their feet and toward their new costumes.

Quid pro quo: for those like me who had to look this up, it means _a favor or advantage granted or expected in return for something. (Something for something). _ Hm… I really hope I'm not the only one who didn't know this…

End Ch 2


	3. Host Club Finale!

Disclaimer: I don't own Host Club, that's Bisco Hatori, nor do I own N'Sync. That would be, well, themselves. They're NOT mine so don't kill me!  
So, yeah…. Here goes

Ch 3

The second to last performance in the Talent Show was done by the basketball team, and the roar of the crowd could be heard in the Host Club's changing room backstage.

"That will be a hard act to follow." Haruhi had just finished putting the final touches on her costume. Everyone wore similar outfits of jet-black leather pants and various styles of inky shirts, ranging from tank tops to long sleeved. Haruhi and Hanni wore slightly baggy long sleeve shirts, while Kyouya and Mori sported loose fitting long sleeveless vests with hoods. The twins and Tamaki had the tighter tank tops on, but everyone was relatively okay with the outfits, seeing that with their next show, they could very well win.

Renge adjusted Kyouya's hood, then turned to Haruhi, "You'll do fine. Everyone will love you guys!"

"You mean all the _girls_ will love us" Hikaru and Kaoru leaned on each other's shoulders, grinning at the fact they knew to be true.

"That's good enough! This school is mostly girls anyway!" She spun off in glee as the seven members made their way onstage in the darkness before their act.

Tamaki, who would be singing first, stepped forward to stand by the microphone. The other six filed in behind him as the announcer turned on his own microphone.

"Ladies and gentlemen! Let's welcome our last performers of the night, the Host Club!!!!" The theatre erupted into cheers, screams, yells, and applause as the lights burned on, illuminating the hosts. The music started with a boom and each host looked up on a different beat. Tamaki raised his head, "It's gonna be me…" He flashed a smile and the crowd went wild with cheers. A few more measures in, Tamaki grabbed the microphone, ignoring the six that danced in perfect sync behind him, _"You might've been hurt, babe, that ain't no lie. You've seen them all come and go. I remember you told me, that it made you believe in no man, no cry. Maybe that's why…"_ While the screaming continued, Tamaki joined the others, dancing as they sang through the chorus, _"Every little thing I do never seems enough for you. You don't wanna lose it again, but I'm not like them!" _At 'them' each host pointed at a different male group around the room, creating yet another wave of glee-filled screams, _"Baby, when you finally get to love somebody, guess what? It's gonna be me!"_ In an instant each host jumped slightly forward, pointing to themselves with a small flourish. Again this was accompanied by an even louder shriek from the girls.

Their on-stage circle shifted around leaving Kyouya in front. He allowed a smirk to lift his face before he took the microphone, _"You've got no choice, babe, but to move on. You know there ain't no time to waste. You're just too blind" _Behind him Tamaki and the twins jumped to their feet, echoing Kyouya's line before he continued, _"To see. But in the end you know it's gonna be me. You can't deny, so just tell me why!"_

As they danced through the chorus again, the waves from the audience only grew, adding more energy to the already energetic performance.

Their voices, including Mori's, melded together as they eased their way to the edge of the stage, _"There comes a day when I'll be the one you'll see…"_

Haruhi stepped to the very edge, _"It's gonna…"_

The twins followed suit, _"Gonna..."_

Hanni and Mori came forward as well in unison, _"Gonna…"_

Tamaki and Kyouya were last, _"Gonna…"_

All seven voices merged again, _"It's Gonna be me!"_ They launched off the stage into the aisles through an even louder wave of screams.

Their voices were picked up by the wireless mics that each wore as the hosts made their way around the spectators, singing the next lines.

_"Baby, when you finally get to love somebody, guess what…"_ Each host found a girl in the crowd, _"It's gonna be me!"_ There were overpowering screams and applause as each of the seven girls was dipped but the host that held her at the end of the song.

Through that ovation, the judges looked at each other, open jawed. There was no way that anyone but the Host Club could possibly win this contest, though they still had to take a poll from the audience.

Even Mori was smiling as they returned to their dressing room. All seven of them were sweating from how hard they worked, but that couldn't lessen the smiles and grins that played on each face. They knew they'd won the Central Salon; there was no doubt about that.

"Hey, is the list up yet for what class is where for the festival?" Haruhi asked as the twins slid into their usual seats on either side of her, their Cheshire cat grins bigger than usual today.

"It is"

When they didn't elaborate, Haruhi turned to look at both of them in turn, "I'm taking that as a 'we won'…"

Their smirks grew, "Why did you ever doubt we would?"

She just shook her head at opened her class book to start another day of school.

The End


End file.
